One door closes, another opens

I don't even know where to begin - so much has happened in the past few days.  After finishing my blog on Friday, I decided to tell the guy that I had mentioned in that blog to read it.  I sent him an email to read it and if he could handle that kinda of arrangement - great, if not - no hard feelings.  So off that email went.  I kinda knew what the answer would be and already had other irons in the fire in case it was no.

The other iron in the fire was another guy I met online.  I had been emailing him back and forth for about a week.  He text me Friday and asked me if I wanted to go to a gopher (college) hockey game. I said sure.  What did I have to loose?  Plus it sounded like fun.  Now granted I felt a little slutty about the fact I just sent an email off to one guy asking him if I could have his penis on a regular basis and then am going on a first date with another guy. You only live once, right?

I guess I should nick name these guys so you don't get confused, heck I'm confused.  Anyways, the guy I sent an email to will be booty call guy and the guy I went to gopher game with will be army guy since he just got out of the army. 

Now you need a breakdown of my weekend:

Friday:

6:00 pm - meet army guy  - go to hockey game
9:00 pm - go to local bar with army guy and see live band (really having a great time)
10:00 pm - get email from booty call guy that basically says thanks but no thanks (saw that one coming) (and was kind of regretting having even sent the email in the first place)

Saturday:

2:00 am  - leave bar (yes with army guy) takes me to car
2:00 to 6:00 am- talk in his car (yes just talk)
6:00 am - we are hungry - decide to go to Perkins and get breakfast
7:00 am - get back to car (again)
7:30 am - finally leave for home
8:30 am - crawl into bed
12:00 pm - get text from army guy - do I wanna hang out later that day?
1:00 - 3:30 pm - run around house cleaning like a lunatic and get ready
4:00 pm - army guy picks me up and we go to movie
4:40 -7:00 pm - watch the movie No Strings Attatched
7:00 pm - go and pick up a pizza
7:30 pm - get back home
8:00 pm - eat and then go to my room. We talk and messed around until.....

Sunday:

3:30 am - Army guy and I finally go to sleep - and no sex has happened
6:30 am - We wake up - I do chores - go back to my room and we talk and mess around more - still no sex
3:00 pm - We decide we need to do something - he is thinking about getting a house nearby, so we get ready to go house shopping
4:00 pm - shower with army guy - still no sex
5:00 pm - leave house and decide to get dinner first
5:30 pm - dinner
6:30 - 7:00 pm look at 2 houses
8:00 - get back home - go to room and more talking - no sex

Monday:

1:30 am - he leaves
10:00 am - I wake up feeling like I just did a 72 hour bender in Las Vegas

See what I mean?  My brain hurts.  I need to back track a little in give you a little in between the lines details.  I was not suprised at all that booty call guy shot me down.  I could kinda tell after the last time we slept together that it would be the last time we slept together.  I can't tell you exactly why just that certain guys have a hard time dealing with me. Like I mentioned above, I was kind of regretting sending it anyways, even before I hit it off with army guy.  It was one of those moments when you hit the send button and then immediately regret it. I wasn't sure I could deal with his personality on a regular basis even if it was just for sex and turns out the feeling was mutual. Since I got shut down though I decided to be a little less direct with Army guy.  Plus Army guy is not really the kind of guy that the speech would work with. The other thing is that I was really digging army guy and didn't want to screw it up.  I had an absolute blast with him at the hockey game and bar.  I beat him twice in pool and he handled it really well, plus he didn't get all jealous when guy friends would come up and say hi.  I did fill him in on my normal M.O. when it comes to dating - only because he asked. This was done after the bar. He accepted this info rather well and didn't seem to judge me because of it.  He seemed open to it, but the problem was that I was liking him.  Great!!!!

Don't get me wrong.  I appreciate the universe not giving me any lag time in between penis'.  What I wasn't expecting was that one of the penis' would be a really great guy who actually has his shit together.  Part of the reason I pick asshole guys is so I won't get attached. So in the parking lot I tell army guy that I like him and want to see how things go.  This didn't mean I intended on waiting all that long to sleep with him, I just wasn't going to do it on the first date.  During the course of the weekend I thought it was going to happen a few times and it kind of did, but I'll get into that in a bit. 

Obviously a lot of talking was done.  One thing that he liked about me was that I have a good understanding of the military.  My understanding comes from the fact that my mom was a cop so I get the discipline and sacrifice aspect of it.  There is also the fact that I was a military history major, so I get the tactical aspect of it.  Then of course there is the fact that I was in a "FTF" relationship with a marine for 3 years and then married to someone that was in the air force.  All of this I told him.  Now I've got army guy.  Once we sleep together that will be 3 of the 4 branches down.  Then all I need is Navy. I also told him that and he laughed.  That's why I like him, I can totally be my crazy self and he actually seems to like it.

Now for the sex part.  He told me that he likes to wait to have sex with someone until he knows a lot about them. By Sunday I felt he knew enough about me.  I mean we talked for like 20 hours by that point.  So we start having sex - he actually stopped me half way through. I was bummed I was really enjoying myself and had already got off like 5 times and we had only been going at it for 15 minutes. Also I hate when the guy doesn't get off. Anyways, he said he had to stop because he didn't want to rush in to sex and wanted to get to know me better. Really? You couldn't have thought of that 15 minutes ago? I told him I would respect him in the morning. He laughed. He also said I deserved more than some guy that would rush to get into my pants in the first 72 hours. How am I suppose to argue with that one? I'm thinking to myself  "great - all I wanted was penis on regular basis and now I'm laying next to someone that has "marriage potential" written all over him. How do I get myself into these situations?"   I know most girls would be falling all over themselves to be with this guy and me I'm getting all weirded out with the idea of being with someone for more than just sex. There were some really domestic moments this weekend like brushing our teeth together and of course house shopping that just made me cringe.

I swear who ever or whatever made me is playing a sick joke.  It's like when they made me they said o.k. let take a man (with a very high sex drive) and put him into a female body and see what happens.  I'm sure someone up there is getting a good laugh at me. I am so messed up in the head. 

So I guess I'm going to have to pretend to be normal and just see how this one plays out.

Oh one funny tidbit.  So today I'm in my group therapy session going over what happen this weekend.  Ok - I know your wondering why I'm in a group therapy session but that is a whole story in itself and will have to wait for a future blog.  Anyways, I'm discussing what happened this weekend with the group and how I'm a little perplexed with the situation because I prefer no strings attached relationships.  One of the guys in group texts me when the meeting was over (we all have each others phone numbers.) He sent me a picture of his cock with a message of "no strings ever." I replied back thanks but no thanks. Does this kind of stuff happen to everyone or is it just me?

Well that about covers it.  We will see what happens.  I am now going to go sleep for a year!

Have a great night everyone!!!!

Catch up time!!!

Wow!!! I can't believe how long it has been since I have blogged!  I just read through all the previous ones and sadly not a lot has changed. Well at least not in the sex department.

Well, let's get you up to date.  L.A. and Green Bay were awesome!  I had some beer and brats, then some sun and sex. I was a happy girl. Geez that was way back in November.  Ok, so I get back home.  Hunter guy had disappeared of the face of the earth.  I was getting totally blown off!!!! Really?  Short - fat guy blows me off??? I found out fairly recently that he had gotten back together with his phyco girlfriend, but we will get into that more later.  So what do I do?  I get back together with my ex-boyfriend.  I'm not going to go into that too much, because the drama that unfolded was ridiculous.  Looking back it was because of the regular lay aspect that I got back with him.  I'm sorry but he had a small penis and was a drama queen.  I will give him credit - he was good in bed, but not worth the headache!  So that ended in mid - December.  And wouldn't you know it - a week later hunter guy re-appears! Really? Oh well - so after giving him shit for blowing me off, we got together.  It was not as great as I remembered, and I could tell he was going to disappear again, which he did.  He said he would call me in a couple days, that was over a month ago.  I know I have said this before but it's really annoying getting blown off by a short - fat guy.  At least when you get blown off by a hot guy, you know it's because of the fact they are getting pink thrown at them in every direction.  When you get blown off by a guy who has limited options, you start to take it personally.  The other thing that just annoys me about guys in general is how they are so afraid of being direct.  I understand if you have found something else, believe me - yours is not the only penis on the planet.

So, guess what?  Mandy gets to start all over again!  I will get into that in a bit.

Here is a little non - sex info.  So, I finally hit my weight loss goal and have kept the weight off!  I am now 135 and a size 4.  All I need to do now is tone my tummy and butt a little and I will be solid!  Don't get me wrong, I look great right now.  I know, I know, I'm a conceited bitch.  I'm just really happy with the results so far, it was a lot of hard work. Oh and I'm a brunette now!  For some reason I got a bug up my ass and wanted a change.  I put it to a vote on facebook and my friends overwhelming voted for brunette, so that's what I did.  I like it.  It's sucks not having the blonde excuse when I do something really stupid, but that's ok.  I also had to adjust my game a little.  Blondes are a little more approachable I think, probably because of the mis-conception that they are not as intelligent.  So even when I have my "don't fuck with me face on," I would still get hit on.  Not the case as a brunette, I have to smile more.  I also noticed with my friends that as a brunette, if I'm not smiling, I'm constantly being asked - what's wrong?  So I have to learn to be a little more friendly looking.  Not a big deal.

Another new change is that I have been applying a new way of thinking.  Basically the theory that is presented in the book/movie The Secret.  I have been in a pretty dark place for the last few years and it was getting old.  I needed to change my way of thinking.  For those of you that don't know, The Secret is about the law of attraction.  In simplest terms if you are positive - good things will happen and if your negative, bad things will happen.  This is of course is just 1% of what goes into it, but if your really interested, you can get the book yourself.  So I started applying this to my life in late December and it has made an enormous difference!  Part of the thought process is envisioning what you want out of life and making it happen.  A lot of my goals are long term, but I am noticing things happening.

Side note.  I have decided what I want to do with my life.  I want to become a marriage and family therapist and eventually a sex therapist.  I know this is probably a fact that doesn't surprise too many people.  You may not know that when my sexless marriage was failing, I went to a sex therapist.  I actually didn't know he specialized in sexual issues at the time, I thought he was just a marriage counselor. Well obviously  my marriage still failed, but he helped me realize some very important things.  The topic of sex has always interested me and at one time I considered teaching the history of sexuality and sexology.  I recently decided that my time would be better spent trying to help couples that have been in similar circumstances to mine than teaching a bunch of horny college students.  So I am currently in the process of figuring out how to make this goal happen.  It will mean a few more years of school, but I know it will be a gratifying career.

So back to the thought process thing.  A part of it is envisioning what you want.  I just went over my long term goals, but what is my short term goal you ask?  I bet you know the answer. Yes your right - getting penis on a regular basis.  So how do you go about achieving your short term goal?  You tell the universe what you want, you envision what it will be like when you get it and then you do steps to make it happen.  So I started with telling the universe what I wanted.  Dear universe, please send me a hot guy with a big penis who is not an emotional wreck and also not a complete asshole.  If you have read my previous blogs you will understand the asshole thing.  Anyways,  I asked for this every morning and night.  Well then I needed to envision it and believe me I did - especially during "me time."  Then there are the steps.  I had been on zoosk.com forever but because your limited in your communication unless you want to pay - it wasn't working very well.  So I researched completely free sites.  I went on a couple.  Well within minutes of doing my profile I got hit up like crazy.  So I found a penis fairly recently.  He has a big penis, is hot, and not a complete asshole.  I still don't have a great read on him yet, but we will see. I also haven't been able to give him the "speech" yet.  You know how it goes.  I don't want a relationship.  I just want to get laid once a week (at the least.)  I need to know when the next time we are going to hook up is going to be because otherwise I turn into a crabby horny bitch. Do not flake or blow me off! Rescheduling is o.k. I don't really need to talk to you in the meantime if the next date is already set.  If you are "handling business," I will not sleep or even look for anyone else.  If you blow me off - after 2 weeks I will start looking elsewhere or "trolling" as I call it. Then we are done.  Hopefully he will understand and be agreeable.  I'm hoping for sex on a regular basis without the drama.  I'm not sure why, but this always seems like a lot to ask. 

The universe doesn't really get moderation.  A couple guys have come out of the wood work this week but since they are in l.a. it doesn't really matter.   Although with one of the guys it's kind of a funny situation.  I won't go into extreme detail.  I never thought he was attracted to me.  I would have fucked him in a heartbeat when I first met him and he knew it but he never seemed to feel the same way.  Out of the blue, he emails me, telling me he wants to fuck me.  It was crazy.  Well good to know you can get the one the got away even if it won't be til way ahead in the future.

That should catch you guys up for now.  I actually have more to say since it has been so long but my fingers are getting tired.